Rocketships and a Feather

When I was in third grade my friends and I set out to build a rocket-ship in order to become the “first kids in space” We drew out all of the plans, assembled the materials (2x4’s, aluminum foil, and a lawn mower engine). It was our plan to be the “first kids in space”. We told all of our classmates our plans and met after school to build the rocket. However, eventually we realized that we would never take off in whatever we built. The thoughts of us incinerating in the “rocket” never crossed our minds.
Here it is, over 20 years later and I am still building “rocket ships”. They are no longer built out of 2x4’s and aluminum foil, but have taken different forms over the years. They have included becoming a fire-fighter, going to medical school, buying a “fixer up house”, remodeling the basement myself, getting my degree from Moody, becoming a youth pastor, getting my Master’s Degree in Nursing, and most recently it seems that becoming a missionary to Honduras has joined that list. It is just another one of the great plans in life that I tell family and friends about, yet will probably never materialize. This time I was so sure that we were being led by the Lord to Honduras; that is, until yesterday and the phone call I received informing us that we will not be receiving the "letter of invitation" from the Cornerstone Foundation to join in the work going on there. The reason we were given is a change in ministry focus at Hospital Loma De Luz and the increased usage of Honduran nurses over American missionary nurses.
I can’t help but think of Forrest Gump and his feather. Unlike the movie, I do not believe that we are blown around by the “winds of fate”, nobody knowing where we will land. However, I do feel like a feather, being blown around and seemingly finally almost coming to rest on the ground when another wind comes up and sends us in a different direction entirely. The “wind” of course is the Lord. Just as I thought we would “land” in Honduras, I find myself blown in a different direction and it does not seem so clear any more. While I was so sure after our last trip to Honduras that we were heading there full time, today I am wondering what the Lord’s plans are. Was this just a test for us, to see how far we would be willing to go, or is it something far more? I do not know what to think right now. Did Joseph ever think along the same lines; a vision of his brothers bowing down to him, but landing in a hole and eventually prison for a season prior to the vision becoming reality (probably in a far different fulfillment than he ever envisioned)? I don’t know. However, what I do know is that the Lord is the “wind” beneath me, a mere feather, and wherever I land, I pray and trust that it will be in the middle of His will.

Please keep praying for us!

JDB